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 Post subject: My violent sister.....
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 7:43 pm 
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Location: California
I have a little sister with serious issues. First off, she laughs at me and attacks me because I'm "fat". I know I'm overweight (I'm about 5 foot 7/5 foot 8 and weigh 180 lbs) but that's no reason for her to throw shoes at me. Sometimes she runs up to me and scratches me with her dirty fingernails and runs away laughing. And when I try and hit back, she says that hitting girls is "against the law". A couple times when she scratched me, she drew blood. One wound on my left arm was so bad that it took two weeks to heal and I can still see the marks. That happened when I grabbed her arm for attacking me and I gave her an arm squeeze in my own defense. Today she just gave me a hard kick to my ribs and it felt really painful. I have no clue how she behaves in school but so far, she hasn't gotten expelled our suspended. She also mouths off a lot and has broken a few dishes with that shoe-throwing of hers. Even more annoying, she throws any shoe she can get her hands on even if it's mom's shoes.

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 Post subject: Re: My violent sister.....
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 7:49 pm 
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Um, wow. Time to get her head examined, maybe?

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 Post subject: Re: My violent sister.....
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 7:53 pm 
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Good grief! I would say your sister needs very desperately for someone to put her over their knee, that kind of behaviour is inexcuseable (how old is she anyway?). Don't take this the wrong way, but where the heck are your parents when all this is going on?

If she's being violent enough to the point of drawing blood and breaking things, something needs to be done about it and fast. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if you are not the only one she's done this to and if it hasn't already, it's probably just a matter of time before her violent streak surfaces at school or another public setting and gets her into some serious (and much deserved) trouble.

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 Post subject: Re: My violent sister.....
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 7:56 pm 
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When puppies bite each other too hard, they bite back to teach the other not to bite like that. I think it's time for you you take some action, my friend. My brother and I fought all the time; we got plenty of scars and what not, but we're fine. Just do something to her that she won't soon forget...

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 Post subject: Re: My violent sister.....
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 7:59 pm 
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Gabe Bennett wrote:
Good grief! I would say your sister needs very desperately for someone to put her over their knee, that kind of behaviour is inexcuseable (how old is she anyway?). Don't take this the wrong way, but where the heck are your parents when all this is going on?

If she's being violent enough to the point of drawing blood, something needs to be done about it. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if you are not the only one she's done this to and if it hasn't already, it's probably just a matter of time before her violent streak surfaces at school or another public setting and gets her into some serious (and much deserved) trouble.


My mom has given her time-outs before and my mom's also told me that if she hits me then I have every right to strike back in defense, girl or not. She's about 10 or 11 years old. She also likes picking on my other sister (who is 13) as well.

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 Post subject: Re: My violent sister.....
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 8:12 pm 
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KurtmanJP wrote:
Gabe Bennett wrote:
Good grief! I would say your sister needs very desperately for someone to put her over their knee, that kind of behaviour is inexcuseable (how old is she anyway?). Don't take this the wrong way, but where the heck are your parents when all this is going on?

If she's being violent enough to the point of drawing blood, something needs to be done about it. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if you are not the only one she's done this to and if it hasn't already, it's probably just a matter of time before her violent streak surfaces at school or another public setting and gets her into some serious (and much deserved) trouble.


My mom has given her time-outs before and my mom's also told me that if she hits me then I have every right to strike back in defense, girl or not. She's about 10 or 11 years old. She also likes picking on my other sister (who is 13) as well.

Well, if your mom has no problem with you defending yourself, then by all means, do so. She needs to be taught that there are repercussions for that kind of behavior. If this is not stopped now, I can guarantee you from experience that it will only get worse as time goes on (the fact that she's already picking on your other sister proves that).

Like I said, it's just a matter of time before this behavior surfaces outside the home (if it hasn't already) and she attacks someone not related to you. And that could lead to legal problems for your family that you don't need.

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 Post subject: Re: My violent sister.....
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 8:17 pm 
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Gabe Bennett wrote:
KurtmanJP wrote:
Gabe Bennett wrote:
Good grief! I would say your sister needs very desperately for someone to put her over their knee, that kind of behaviour is inexcuseable (how old is she anyway?). Don't take this the wrong way, but where the heck are your parents when all this is going on?

If she's being violent enough to the point of drawing blood, something needs to be done about it. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if you are not the only one she's done this to and if it hasn't already, it's probably just a matter of time before her violent streak surfaces at school or another public setting and gets her into some serious (and much deserved) trouble.


My mom has given her time-outs before and my mom's also told me that if she hits me then I have every right to strike back in defense, girl or not. She's about 10 or 11 years old. She also likes picking on my other sister (who is 13) as well.

Well, if your mom has no problem with you defending yourself, then by all means, do so. She needs to be taught that there are repercussions for that kind of behavior. If this is not stopped now, I can guarantee you from experience that it will only get worse as time goes on (the fact that she's already picking on your other sister proves that).

Like I said, it's just a matter of time before this behavior surfaces outside the home (if it hasn't already) and she attacks someone not related to you. And that could lead to legal problems for your family that you don't need.


Well, when my family and I were in a pharmacy, she started cracking jokes about an obese woman who sat next to us. I think she has issues with "fat" people because every time she finds an excuse to hate on someone most of the time she says "they're fat" when often times the person she's picking on is quite "normal" body weight.

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 Post subject: Re: My violent sister.....
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 8:25 pm 
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KurtmanJP wrote:
Well, when my family and I were in a pharmacy, she started cracking jokes about an obese woman who sat next to us. I think she has issues with "fat" people because every time she finds an excuse to hate on someone most of the time she says "they're fat" when often times the person she's picking on is quite "normal" body weight.

That's very, very bad. My parents would've tanned my hide if I'd pulled a shenanigan like that! I can already tell you that she's not going to be a very nice person when she grows up and I would really worry for how she'll be with any kids she eventually has. I agree with Eddie on this, she needs her head examined BIG TIME.

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 Post subject: Re: My violent sister.....
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 8:28 pm 
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Gabe Bennett wrote:
KurtmanJP wrote:
Well, when my family and I were in a pharmacy, she started cracking jokes about an obese woman who sat next to us. I think she has issues with "fat" people because every time she finds an excuse to hate on someone most of the time she says "they're fat" when often times the person she's picking on is quite "normal" body weight.

That's very, very bad. My parents would've tanned my hide if I'd pulled a shenanigan like that! I can already tell you that she's not going to be a very nice person when she grows up and I would really worry for how she'll be with any kids she eventually has. I agree with Eddie on this, she needs her head examined BIG TIME.


My mom and I always tell her that someday she'll grow up to become fat and regret those words. She just has a really negative and cynical attitude to the point of being a real jerk.

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 Post subject: Re: My violent sister.....
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 9:15 pm 
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Sounds like a real problem, when you tell here what she does, what's her reaction? Do you have any other siblings that are younger? How was attention by your parents devided while she was young between the 3 of you?

I don't think hitting back will help at all in this case. Since it sets an example, if it's OK for you to hit, then why not for her? That's most likely the message you'd (unwillingly) give her in this case. However I can imagine how she can get your blood boiling.

What I would suggest is to strengthen the relationship. At a time when she's not hostile go up to her and have a talk with her, showing interest in her showing you care. As soon as she becomes hostile (which is probably fast at first by the sound of it) walk away, ignore her (or as much as posible) and don't talk to her and try again another time. Now she'll have to choose, a brother who shows he cares for her or scare him off causing him to turn his back on her (litteraly). But it's hard, and if it works? I don't know... It's only what I think you yourself could do in an attempt to help the situation, since no one can ever change someone else. We can only motivate them to do it themselves.

Would be interesting to see how she is at school, my guess is she's pretty well behaved in class and with friends. Seeing as you say she's never been expelled from school the problem does not seem to be constand which makes me think it's more of a psychological problem then a neurological one.

Anyway I hope you can deal with it soon, since that stuff can nag on you. Just know that you need to do something for yourself, don't expect her to just change because you want her too. She's doing this for a reason, everything we do (at least in our normal state of being/mind) was once our best choice, she's getting something out of this. Your job is to find out what, and replace that with something that's even better that she can achieve in another (nicer) way.

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 Post subject: Re: My violent sister.....
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 9:47 pm 
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Barne wrote:
Sounds like a real problem, when you tell here what she does, what's her reaction? Do you have any other siblings that are younger? How was attention by your parents devided while she was young between the 3 of you?


I was born an only child, my sisters are both stepsisters and I've had them as sisters since I was about 14 years old. And nope, it's just me and my 2 younger stepsisters.

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 Post subject: Re: My violent sister.....
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 9:56 pm 
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No offense, but, what's your half in this conflict?

A lot of people I hear complaining about an ongoing fight with a family member are, usually unconsciously, doing something to trigger or aggrevate the episodes.

Do you do anything like namecall back, or generally treat her with condescention in some way? Maybe something nonobvious that you don't think about like play loud music she doesn't like and can't get away from? It's easy to get on people's nerves and make them hostile without realizing it, and a kid might not have the maturity to just tell you in a rational way what they don't like about you. All they know is that you bug them, and their response to that comes out in indirect ways.

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Last edited by Winston on Sun Jun 08, 2008 10:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: My violent sister.....
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 9:59 pm 
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Whats good for the Gander, is good for the goose.

Tell her that hitting, scratching, cutting you is also against the the law (assault). And you having scars from her previous attacks- counts against her. She attacks you- hit her back! Let the cops deal with it.

How old is she, how old are you? 5'7" @ 180 is not fat. Overwieght and out of shape, yes- but you are far from being called '2-tons of fun'. One of my best friend was 5'7" @ 530 pounds! Got his stomache stapled and now he's 320 and he's happy with it.

So, stop being a wuss and cap that female dog in the mouth! Sister or not- you're supposed to grow up as a man? You let 1 woman in your life close to you put fear into your life- you will never go beyond what you are not as far as relationships are concerend because girls will see that in you.

Call me a male chovanistic pig all you like; women are to respect men for who we are and what we do. We have to do the same for them, but when one over steps her bounds and disrespect you royally like your sister is doing- you have to get that respect back... only way to do that is defend yourself.

If it were me, I'd send my fist through the wall, pull it out and then look at her and tell her if she wants to ne next. Believe me, I can and have sent my fists through walls, and that vulgar display of power has put a lot of idiots (male and female) to rethink their actions and options of living. Respect (through fear) is then regained. I would not prefer it that way, but when all options are gone, there is little left to do.

I guarentee, you hit her back and hard enough to knock her down the next time she sinks her claws into you, she will stop doing it to you again. Guarenteed.

Note: I'm not condoning violence. I am self defense.

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 Post subject: Re: My violent sister.....
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 10:26 pm 
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Wow... Sounds like Stan's sister on South Park. I have to agree. Hit her the next time she hits you.
And if that doesn't work, there's always.... SUPER NANNY! :gad-lol: :gad-lol: :gad-wink:

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 Post subject: Re: My violent sister.....
PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 10:36 pm 
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I would say, the next time she hits you, get her by the hand and sqeeze inbetween her forefinger and thumb just a bit. There's a major nerve there, and it hurts like you won't beleive.

CrashBurn wrote:
... there's always.... SUPER NANNY! :gad-lol: :gad-lol: :gad-wink:

:lol: indeed

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